Mother and Wife

10/28/2016 at 5:25 PM Leave a comment

It seems this week has just dragged by. With every passing day the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach gets worse.


See there are days when I question if I was meant to be married and be a mom. Not that I don’t love my husband and children, I DO but I am not sure I was the best choice for them. They deserve so much better for a wife and mother. They are so much better than I could ever be and the issues my children might have in the future are going to be all my fault and I willingly take the blame. I’m not the best at this whole mothering/wife thing. I struggle every day to find my place in our family of four. I fear my inadequacies will rub off onto my children and I don’t want them to struggle when it comes to love.  Ever since I found out my first was a boy I decided then and there to not be that stereotypical mother of a son. I want to be close to my son as he gets older but with my lack of confidence as a mother I am not sure that future looks so bright. My youngest, a girl, is another story. She clings to me and I enjoy every minute but as a daughter of a mother I know it wont last long. Besides she is only 1 lol


Wonderfully loving, giving, VERY handsome, hard worker, personality to boot. Don’t worry he is not perfect, but he has perfected the act of passive aggressiveness which drives me crazy. I do know that I am very lucky to have him. He changed diapers and woke up in the middle of the night with both kids which from what I can tell not to many dads do that. There are some things he still struggles with such as disciplining but he will get there.


Oh these little stink pots. These comedians in their own right. I believe they were molded after the energizer bunny….they just keep going and going and going. I can’t imagine a life without them both. They drive me crazy at the same time they make me laugh. I never knew what true heart-break was until my boy (4) said I wasn’t his best friend anymore (back story he was told no). My girl (1), the first girl in the family since yours truly (30 years). She is spoiled and she is her brothers biggest fan. If he does it she does it. So needless to say she will be like her mother, a little tom boy. Hubby and I always joke how they will set each other up with each others friends. It’s funny for all of 5 minutes then the scary sets in. If my children have their father’s heart they will experience an immense amount of heartache but if they have my heart they will dish out the heartache. It’s a  double edge sword (or is it blade).


Entry filed under: Life. Tags: , , , , , , , .

I suck and admitting defeat Fake- To be or not to be

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October 2016
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