ugh I am so over life

11/18/2016 at 11:12 PM Leave a comment

I don’t know how people do it. Live day-to-day. My household hates me. Despises me actually. For being the one who cooks, cleans, chauffeurs, launder, bathes, shops and so may other things for them that lack such a huge amount of respect for me. I am ignored on a daily basis. I don’t understand how I do so much for people who care so little. Not only at home but in life as well. I seem to give 110% and get shit in return. I can’t even function. My heart hurts constantly. My temper is on the edge. About to lose it. I want to cry but can’t. I’m so angry and tired. Tired of being ignored. Tired of being disrespected. Tired. Wonder what people would do if I treated them the way they treat me. Not a damn thing. You have to give a shit about someone first for their actions to affect you. Days like these make me really wonder if I made a mistake. If I should have just kept going with my life the way it was. I wouldn’t have anyone disrespecting me and I would be able to walk out this door any time I damn well pleased. People make it seem fun. Well come take a week in my life and see how much fun it is. Is it possible to hate and love your life at the same time? Cause it seems as of recent that’s all I do. I can feel every little squeal or tear pushing me closer to the edge. I just want to leave. I want to walk out. I want them to see how hard life would be without me and maybe just maybe they would show a little respect for me. A little appreciation. Listen to me. Something. I can’t do this alone thing anymore. I am always alone even when the house is full. I don’t matter to any of them. As I get older I start to realize I don’t really matter to anyone. My so-called friends. Yeah Fuck you!! Where are y’all huh? When I need you? People just suck. It’s just crazy to think I have no friends who give two shits about me and my own family could care less as well. So that leaves me with who? Me. Just me. I am so mad. Mad at my world. Not the whole world just my world. My life and the people in it. The people who just don’t care. Well one day is gonna come and you are gonna need me and I won’t be there. I won’t be cooking or cleaning. I won’t be listening or respecting you. I will just look at you like the pile of shit you treat me like and walk away. It seems to be easier to be knowingly alone than think you have people in your life who give a shit to realize you have NO ONE!

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Entry filed under: Life, Uncategorized. Tags: .

Pit Death in the Family

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