Archive for February, 2017

A letter to my children’s grandparents

Dear Non-Existent Grandparents/Parents,

First let me inform you on the amazing children that you are missing out on.

My son. A 4 year old with a killer personality. He has the most loving heart. He loves to be a helper and feel wanted. He tries to take charge quite often and be the man of the house when Dad is at work. His imagination is something to see and I know he is gonna serve his community or country when he grows up. Its just something I see in his heart. He tries to help others at such a young age. He gets that from his father. He is protective that is a trait he gets from me.

My daughter. So young, almost 2. She is full of spunk. Her attitude is always on point and I know I won’t have to worry about her getting taken advantage of or falling for peer pressure. She is a girly-girl and loves jewelry and to try to put mommy’s make up on. That she did NOT get from me. That little girl will be a famous rock climber because she has master every piece of furniture in our house.

Second let me inform you on my emotions. You have turned into absent grandparents and parents for that matter. You know nothing of the problems I have been facing on a daily basis for the past 1.5 years. I have came to you for help and was turned away. (Let me inform the reader the help was emotional and not financial so it would have cost them nothing). You have given up any effort to continue a relationship with my children, my husband, or myself. I have heard your excuses and I have to say they are shit. As I have heard said “Excuses are like assholes, everybody’s got one”. Maybe as of recent some of these “excuses” have merit but considering the length of time I have been trying to improve my family’s relationship with you both there is no excuses.


02/22/2017 at 9:45 PM Leave a comment

Susie Sucks

OK  Susie!!! Let me just say as a sibling you should  go out of your way to wish YOUR sibling happy birthday. As Reba says:

Why haven’t I heard from you

There better been a flood, a landslide of mud
A fire that burns up the wires
And thunder so loud with a black funnel cloud
A natural disaster I know nothin’ about

Tell me why, haven’t I, heard from you

Read more: Reba McEntire – Why Haven’t I Heard From You Lyrics | MetroLyrics

No text, no call, no snapchat, no Facebook post, no Instagram.


Am I a little hurt? YES!!

And to make sure I wasn’t overreacting I consulted with my peanut gallery and all agreed that the lack of birthday wishing was one crappy move.

At 32 it is becoming obvious that I will never learn. I shouldn’t of spent my birthday crying over a narcissist socio path (that means you have no cares for anyone but yourself).

There is a part of me that wants to give up. The part that is tired of being heart broken. But the good part of me, the Christian part of me refuses.

02/22/2017 at 9:43 PM Leave a comment

Death in the Family

I’m suppose to be cleaning. Doing laundry. Getting things ready for the days to come. Husband will be here soon and the house is a wreck. It’s hard to focus. I have lost all but one grandparent and now my husband has lost all but one. I hate that he didn’t get to say goodbye the proper way but thankful for Facebook’s face time.

I am supposed to be filling out valentines day cards and putting favors in bags. But I am planning what my family will wear to the viewing and funeral. I am suppose to be celebrating my oldest turning 5 today but instead I am trying to figure when I will practice to sing a hymn for a wonderful man tomorrow.

It happened Friday. I was not surprised. We were given 24-48 hours. But I just knew he would make it through the night. Around 8 that night my sister-in-law call me and now I have to call my husbands boss 9 hours so I can tell him over the phone.

……Day after the funeral

In 6 years married and 7 years together I have never seen my husband sit still. He likes to stay busy. He doesn’t know how to relax. So the fact that he has spent majority of his day sitting on the couch just sets in how his heart is hurting. I am giving him opportunities to talk but he insists he is fine. I know as a man that’s his hard exterior. I know I will just have to be there for him and when he is ready he will talk.

We are supposed to be leaving soon to go meet with family to choose the things we want from grandpa. Hubby and I can’t think of anything. Some shirts and his suspenders that he wore daily.

I have seen death from such a young age but one thing always seems odd. The dividing of property and items. Its like the final nail in the coffin (pun NOT intended) that our loved one is gone.

Death have I told you lately how much you SUCK!!

02/15/2017 at 8:26 PM Leave a comment

February 2017
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